•Esperanza Mansion, Room 1 (Chardonnay), Branchport, New York•
•With the onset of night, the once sturdy wireless connection at this inn has all but disappeared, leaving me to wonder if I’ll ever be able to post this concatenation of ideas tonight. I may have to predate the posting and load it sometime tomorrow.
•I have been called to jury duty next week. For that week, in Schenectady’s Supreme Court, I am designated Juror Number 123—an opening sequence, a counting, an incomplete infinitude.
•Today, I finished reading Robert Creeley’s collected poems, which are divided into
The Collected Poems of Robert Creeley, 1945–1975 and
The Collected Poems of Robert Creeley, 1975–2005, each volume encompassing three decades—sixty years of writing poetry in something over 1600 pages of relatively small type.
•David Daniels, the new pattern poet for our age, died last week. Now that he is gone, I can consider only the opportunities I missed talking to him more about his work. (Regrets are a part of life we never tire of even though we never lack for them.) Fortunately, he left behind ample evidence of his capacious ingenuity for us to enjoy: hundreds of ridiculously complex pattern poems that he somehow created with that bluntest of tools, Microsoft Word. Sometime soon, I’ll try to recall what made David Daniels someone to miss.
•“Esperanza,” the first name of this inn, means “hope” in Spanish. Sitting at the top of a hill that looks down at the northern tip of the western branch of Keuka Lake, the crooked lake, I am wondering how much hope actually governed the activities of the family that built this mansion.
•We need ugliness so that beauty has meaning.
•The idea of the ear in poetry continues to interest me because I continue to find examples of poetry where the sound of the poem is not dull but jarring. Of course, the concept of the ear and its use is more complicated than whether or not it is jarring. Sometimes, the reader needs to be awakened by the wrenching of sound.
•I was called to serve as a juror only once before, six years ago. The case at hand was a lawsuit by a man who had fallen on ice in the parking lot of a supermarket. As I sat listening to the same set of questions a number of times, I memorized them and sped up the vetting of myself by quickly rattling off the answers to the generic opening questions. Then the lawyer for the plaintiff asked me if I’d ever been sued. I answered as I’ll answer next week if the question arises: truthfully, by saying, “Yes. The woman who drove into my mother’s car killing her sued me for damages.” When I first said this line, I was summarily excused from serving as a juror.
•It is always dangerous to believe that a poem tells us anything about a poet, but I find it difficult not to see Robert Creeley’s sixty years of poetic output as a fragmented autobiography. We can see the friction in his first marriage, sometimes viscerally. We hear about his friends. He dedicates poems to these same friends—and many to his wife Bobbie and his wife Pen(elope). Some poems are baldly autobiographical. His last two books of poetry (
If I were writing this and
On Earth) include a number of poems that, in one way or another, begin to address the prospect of death—that settle the accounts of his life or mark the difficult passage he was making into decrepitude and final nothingness (which a poet tries to avoid by leaving words behind).
•Twenty-one years ago was the last time I saw Hayden Carruth, who was one of my poetry writing professors—though that term hardly suited him—at Syracuse University. He is now 87 years and quite frail, as Bob Arnold of Longhouse makes clear in
a short account of a reading by Carruth on the fourth of this month. I will sometime, maybe sooner than I wish, recall a few of my stories about Carruth, but for now let me point you to Bob Arnold and provide a few extracts from his story:
We saw Hayden Carruth yesterday at Marlboro College - probably the sorriest human animal I've seen in quite awhile. But don't get yourself too upset - it's one naturalist looking upon another naturalist. Wheelchair, tubes to his nose, oxygen gasps to get him to speak, his eyes all cockeyed from lord knows what. He throws his head back slowly to look at me with one eye that bobbles for clarity as if an old pirate, then he bellows, "That you, Bob?" What hair is left, down to his shoulders.
When I put down my copy of Hayden's book For You to sign (he signs nearly blind, almost like swinging a small sword; I have to fingertip point where to attach the pen) he stops a moment and asks, "Did I write a book called For You?"
He's reading his poetry off a book that is projected onto a screen in large point type. He has a helper sitting beside him maneuvering the book so it can all project onto the small screen so he can read. Being Hayden - both crusty and curious - he stops a moment and asks the helper beside him what his name is. The man answers. Hayden reads another poem. He asks the kind man again what his name is. Robert Frost would have never been able to do this so blind, so he stopped, or read and rowed from his heart.
•When I was at Vanderbilt University at the very beginning of the 1980s, a friend of mine told me that a friend of hers could never commit suicide by jumping from a tall building because to do so would be to suffer from “fourteen stories of regret.” I have kept that phrase and that idea with me for going on thirty years without doing anything with it. My original plan was to write a collection entitled
Fourteen Stories of Regret, one of which I would call “Fourteen Storeys of Regret.” (That plan requires of me a meandering outside the normal bounds of American spelling, but I’m willing to do it.)
•The only time I realized my own ability managing sound in poetry was when I was in the twelfth grade at Father Ryan High School (named after a priest, Confederate supporter, and poet) in Nashville, Tennessee. We were given the ostensibly simple task of writing a rhyming accentual-syllabic poem in class—simply, employing the classic, though outdated, concept of what a poem is in the English language tradition—and only I could do it quickly and without trouble. When people asked me how I did it, I simply told them to listen to what they were doing, that the sounds were in their heads.
•The second volume of Robert Creeley’s collected poems is a bit of a disappointment. There remain, to be sure, fine poems within its xiv + 665 + [8] pages, but these are rare nuggets in a stream full of stones. His ear loses its balance, and he is writing poems out of habit (which I well understand) instead of a necessity borne out of having something to say. His writing conventions begin to lose their purposes: his awkwardly article-less nouns proliferate and jar against the ear, his use of rhyme—always quirky at best—becomes more frequent and less refined, and his concomitant use of meter leaves us with ditty-like lines that stumble into an unbalanced drunkenness. Yet by this time in his life he was writing with more facility, so he said, than earlier in his career, when his poems were intricate capsules of concentrated syntax fighting against the linguistic norms of “the man” and winning.
•Nancy and I are spending the night in a room named after a wine, chardonnay. I am not much of a drinker and have begun in recent years to drink a bit of wine only to pay Nancy back for her years of living with a total nephalist, and I don’t much care for most white wines, but today we (coincidentally, I suppose) tasted quite a few unoaked chardonnays. Though neither of us liked any of the chardonnays much, this experience quickly taught me where the taste of oak sat in a tongueful of wine.
•Sometime last week, I devised a personal motto and swiftly informed Nancy what it was: “Better than Hitler.” She remained a little less than impressed. As I told others of my new mantra, a friend of mine pointed out that my motto actually covered quite a bit of ground in the realm of individual accomplishment and worth. That’s exactly what I was going for. I don’t want to be pinned down too much by a motto.
•In our room in this inn, I have discovered a number of illustrated novels published between 1905 and 1910 by J.P. Lippincott of Philadelphia. These books feature embossed covers (with glued-on full-color illustrations), illustrated end papers (in half the cases), line drawings (sometimes in color) on every page, lavishly decorated title pages, and the occasional full-color illustration on glossy paper just to tempt the eye a bit more. Most of these books are by someone named Ralph Henry Barbour, and I decided to dip into his book
The Golden Heart. What I discovered was that his style of writing was just as rococo as the book design, all of which I found quite delightful (especially since I’d found someone who is a bit more outrageous than I am with his writing):
The harbor was blue—intensely, ridiculously, wastefully blue—as though all of the indigo in the world had been washed into it,—so blue that the big, wide, cloudless sky seemed faded in comparison,—so blue that Natalie’s eyes, which were quite the bluest things under that same sky, matched it absolutely, just as though she had stepped to the edge of the balcony here, opened those eyes very wide and said:
“I want a mile and a quarter of half-mile-wide harbor, please, to match these.”
•I began reading Creeley’s collected poems (both volumes) on March 28th of this year, and that simple action of entertaining and educating myself led spontaneously to my writing a set of poems, each using stanzas of seven lines apiece. This book of poems now is certainly over 200 pages in length in single-spaced typescript, and it goes by the name
Credence (for reasons both various and discombobulating). For 51 days I read those books, and for 51 days I wrote my poems. As I read these two volumes of Creeley’s, I also read a number of other books of poetry (most recently Curtis Faville’s
metro) and I also wrote other poems (visual and otherwise) besides those of
Credence, but with my completion of Creeley’s Collected I must also conclude the writing of
Credence. In the end, this book of mine consists of 101 poems, which I’ll put aside for a couple of months before considering them again. At that point, I’ll try to rescue each of those 101 (a prime number) poems with stanzas of lines of seven (a prime number). Rescuing words is the role of any writer.
•Nancy and I are spending the night in Room Number 1. Upon realizing that our room had more than a name of a wine to distinguish it, I immediately searched for a Gideon Bible, but found none. This was quite a disappointment, slowing down my multi-year art project, The Hotel Bible of America. Whenever I stay in a hotel, I remove from the Bible stored in my room the sheet that includes the page number that coincides with the room number of my hotel room. I mark the sheet with information on my stay (hotel, room number, city, state, and date), and I amass each of these in anticipation of someday binding them into a thick, but incomplete, Bible. I admit that this project of mine does damage others’ private property, but I also must report that I’ve never found a Bible in a hotel room that has showed any signs that anyone has ever read it.
•pen|velope
•While moving through this room trying to find a sweet spot where the signal connecting me to the outside world, I dropped my laptop on my foot. I didn’t hurt the computer, but the top of my right foot aches. There must be something akin to irony that accounts for the fact that I’ve been hurt, even if slightly, by that machine that so supports my obsessions concerning writing.
•To commemorate the completion of
Credence, I present the last poem of the book. I wrote this tonight with the cold breath of midnight approaching my neck, and I present it with just one caveat: Never believe the authenticity of an I in my poems. There is always some of me in any I but also always some of something else. I didn’t, for example, eat any fennel pollen today (and may never have ingested any save on walks around the hills of San Francisco in the past), but the couscous was rather fine.
Resistance to DarknessWe exist
beside inside
a body of
water we reside
within water
modulating from
blue slate green
grey aquamarine
there is
no sun but
rain there
is no cloud
but sunlight
there is no
lake but mountain
from which
we see
and believe
the lake is
process and
being beyond
any depth
we do not
see the lake
itself only its
surface a
simulacrum of
lake a covering
like darkness
between
the water
now the color
of night
and us
there is
no connection
except
the darkness
which binds
us as one
which extends to
the surrounding
everything
a darkness
that behaves
like a liquid
flowing into
every corner
filling every
surface establishing
its dominion
over our bodies
our consciousness
the memories
we retain
against all hope
of necessity
the obscurity
of night exposes
the difference
between rain
and sunshine
the small petals
of our meal
the lemon-scented
grains of fat
Israeli couscous
the salmon dusted
with fennel pollen
the truffle-infused
oils how
the blueberry
of the wine
subjugates
its own
sweetness
allows flavor
to persist
the lake
before us
has translated
itself from
a deepening slate
to the color
of night
and we are
alone
but two
beside a body
of water
we are
two bodies
in motion
two tendencies
in conflict
with the night
resistance and
continuation
decision
and volition
intent and outside
ourselves these
bodies wandering
the body of
the earth
in search of
•With the writing of this poem, I now give up this style of writing, one that is too easy for me and probably too insubstantial because of it. I may return to writing a style of poem, which I began this year, that consists of nothing but lists with headings. The last one of those I wrote referred back to my experiences as a toddler in 1962 and 1963 living in Albany, California, and I spent four days working on it without making much progress at all. That’s the kind of challenge I prefer.
•I have taken a number of photographs around this inn, most of them only to serve as backgrounds for a set of 999 visual poems I am writing with extreme sluggishness. Tonight, I present a view of Keuka Lake’s northernmost point of its western branch and of a queer little lamp of a monkey atop an elephant. I wonder if this signifies some monkey on the back of the Republican party.
•Days seem dark merely because they are night. Wait for the morning. It always comes.
•
•ecr. l’inf.